Snow.

[Styx]

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

Please be advised that all planning to dash through the snow in a
one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the
way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the
safety of open sleighs.

This assessment must also consider
whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a
venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from
landowners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopedic chairs are now available for
collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their
flocks at night.

While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks
by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut,
all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan
must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining
his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are
wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for
the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of
Glory.


Following last year?s well publicised case, everyone is advised
that EC legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the
redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer.

Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be
considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
against those found guilty of this offence.


While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised
in various parts of the world, everyone is reminded that the
bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all
gifts must be registered.

This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.


Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a
manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been
advised and will be arriving shortly.


Compliance of these guidelines is advised in order for you to
fully participate with the festive spirit.

Thanks from the Health and Safety Team...

--

[roving-eye]

be fine round here then there is no snow

[Coastal99]

Can anyone find it posted earlier than 6 years ago ?

https://www.veritas-consulting.co.uk...essage-to-all/

[Styx]

Can anyone find it posted earlier than 6 years ago ?

https://www.veritas-consulting.co.uk...essage-to-all/

These cold winter nights must just fly by...

[shippy]

These cold winter nights must just fly by...

Especially here in North London..

Yesterday was a nightmare of nightmares for me....or as one would say, a jinxed day...
Waking in the morning to a very heavy snowfall, I had to make plans how I would take my two young grand daughters to the Victoria and Albert museum...
Tickets had been purchased on line to take the kiddies to
the 'Winnie the Pooh'
Exhibition, which is being held there...( quite honestly, the latter part Pooh, was, imo very appropriate indeed ...

Three taxi companies refused to pick us up from home, suggesting I walk to the main road, which was salted and gritted...at last, after endless calls,an UBER guy arrived...well skidding off down the road, feeling my foot going through the car floor, searching for the brakes, we finally made it from Highgate towards central London..gaud, the roads were clear of snow and the roads were packed tight with traffic..

The 'Pooh' exhibition took exactly 10 minutes to walk around..
Inside the Museum, ( beautiful building I must admit) was spoilt, by what I would call a car boot effect ,scores of tables, filled with all the usual paraphernalia which we shoppers love to buy at Christmas time...but the prices were sky high, for the same things we would buy at Costco or Primark for pennies..

Well I was glad to leave the Museum and head for home again in a taxi which was part of a taxi rank waiting outside..

Going down Holloway Road, I suggested to the taxi driver that it would be
better to go up Highgate Hill ( salted and gritted) rather than take the back road to our house, ( which he insisted was a shorter way )

I explained to the driver, that the side roads to our house were Chocker block, with snow, and cars lined both sides..
Well of course this know all took the "short cut"..and whilst trying to go up the steep hill, his vehicle started to slide back...luckily no damage, probably only to his ego and of course increasing my payment, as the metre was still running, whilst we went back to the way I suggested to him...

I have promised myself, never never ever will I promise my grandkids anything without checking the weather forecast first...

[Hamble]

Especially here in North London..

Yesterday was a nightmare of nightmares for me....or as one would say, a jinxed day...
Waking in the morning to a very heavy snowfall, I had to make plans how I would take my two young grand daughters to the Victoria and Albert museum...
Tickets had been purchased on line to take the kiddies to
the 'Winnie the Pooh'
Exhibition, which is being held there...( quite honestly, the latter part Pooh, was, imo very appropriate indeed ...

Three taxi companies refused to pick us up from home, suggesting I walk to the main road, which was salted and gritted...at last, after endless calls,an UBER guy arrived...well skidding off down the road, feeling my foot going through the car floor, searching for the brakes, we finally made it from Highgate towards central London..gaud, the roads were clear of snow and the roads were packed tight with traffic..

The 'Pooh' exhibition took exactly 10 minutes to walk around..
Inside the Museum, ( beautiful building I must admit) was spoilt, by what I would call a car boot effect ,scores of tables, filled with all the usual paraphernalia which we shoppers love to buy at Christmas time...but the prices were sky high, for the same things we would buy at Costco or Primark for pennies..

Well I was glad to leave the Museum and head for home again in a taxi which was part of a taxi rank waiting outside..

Going down Holloway Road, I suggested to the taxi driver that it would be
better to go up Highgate Hill ( salted and gritted) rather than take the back road to our house, ( which he insisted was a shorter way )

I explained to the driver, that the side roads to our house were Chocker block, with snow, and cars lined both sides..
Well of course this know all took the "short cut"..and whilst trying to go up the steep hill, his vehicle started to slide back...luckily no damage, probably only to his ego and of course increasing my payment, as the metre was still running, whilst we went back to the way I suggested to him...

I have promised myself, never never ever will I promise my grandkids anything without checking the weather forecast first...

Sounds exhausting!

We have treacherous black ice on roads and pavements to negotiate.